kill bill! YES! kill you!

28 January 2011 6:28:00 PM

these few months have been a whirlpool filled with frustrations, bitterness, sadness, penniless...and it almost went suicidal. ok, thats not actually true but you know what? sometimes being pissed with the world isnt helping at all. CHILL!

weeks before our competition, i was caught by surprise that almost everyone knew except for me? (prolly bcos i dont have the habit of keeping my phone on) that my teammate was knocked down by a bus while she was running. i cant really explain how i felt but it seems so surreal that i refused to believe and when it sets in, i begin tearing. most of us esp my batch mates couldnt really put our mind at ease while trg but we have to get our game faces on for her. she would be very pissed not being here with us and if we didnt give our best. she had been trg so hard and that fking sbs bus! they should really disallowed old foreign ahpeks from driving! (it was a legal zebra crossing and the bus turned on red!) im really glad shes alive with a fractured pelvis, a broken skull and a weak right arm. doc had to remove some of the brain cells due to clotting. shes doing fine believe me. am glad she was able to rmb my jokes else imagine that tons of jokes i'd to repeat? i cant explain how ppl keeps emoing even when they'd gotten well and stuffs. sometimes when ya near to losing something, you learnt to cherish it even more. after her final surgery, shes been rotting at home and refuses to pick or return any calls/smses...this is the most fked up response ive gotten! no matter how shitty the person is, i'll still treat you as my friend. i hope shes feeling better.

com was a total rack. exams was juz horrible. imagining studying the day before for a lvl 5 mod? e worst was having a paper the day after coms...its juz way beyond my imagination. thank myself for revising my notes thru out the sem, else i wouldnt had made it.

wanted to meet up with few of my friends but everything juz went wrong. i dont blame them for forgetting our date and i dont blame them for not being free on the proposed date. i blame myself for being such a lousy friend that im always busy with either sch or cca that i cant have breakfast with them on sats/sun. i cant stayover for movies anymore. i refuse to play monopoly deal. i blame myself for not actually being there with them. sometimes its easy to place the blame on others but its isnt easy to put pride aside and see whats wrong within you. i blame myself for being so lazy and shack after trg that a little thunderstorm stopped me from having dinner with them. i blame myself for not having the balls to apologise. sometimes i wish they could understand me instead of making me feel like a joke? i blame myself for who i am and its hard to change. theres no way im changin who i am. i apologise for being selfish for that.

i blame myself for agreeing to help the prof without demanding any pay and had to head bk to sch on sats aft trg for lab. i blame myself for not opening up and speak my mind and allow them to climb above me.

like how the sun will always shine after a storm? celeb xmas with my pri sch dudes were awesome. had a nice home cooked vegetarian meal at friend's place~ gifts exchanging, tossing of wine, indian poker, heart attack and oh! e unforgettable green tea with salt.

new yr's at friends place was awesome too! this was so last min that i didnt had the intention of doing so. my friend graciously offered her place even thou she had a massive stomach flu and had been lao sai-ing for a week now. im glad i went and enjoyed staring at the fireworks from afar.

team chalet felt like garbage on the first day prolly bcos i arrived there like 9pm from sch!? and someone stirred up a storm...many bad faces and as expected, e dudes were no where to be seen but well, i make it a point to cheer everyone up e following day! im glad it worked out fine and the team felt really bonded. the rain was the only setback but am glad it rained cos it only meant less of those torturous bonding games with the guys (rmb my post on them?). had to leave early like 7am on the last day for a meeting in sch -.-''' life cant get any better...

its 28jan and cny is next week! and im still working on my prof's proj instead of my fyp. im really pissed. cursing is not my tradition but screw it! selfish people goes straight to hell!

the world revolves around money...im calling my pocket the desert of sandy money. money that is virtually there but doesnt have any value. i need money, for real!

Tschus!

im happy playing music and singing to you...
let me take you away from the strings and vibrations...
to that realm that excites you...
close you eyes and feel~

RECAP

DUH...

EAT THAT!